The Expression of the Stars
by SaphireMMTPX
Summary: *Updated!! As of May 13!* ZADR R for later chapters. ZADR MaleXMale ok I'm done.
1. Disclaimers, Warnings and Notes, Oh My

DISCLAIMER: I never put these up, but it's fucking obvious I don't own anything in the IZ universe unless the wonderful JV magically showed up at my doorstep, handed me the rights for IZ, and said do as you damn well please. Which is my hope, but it wont work. It never does. I already tried stalking J.K. Rowling to give me the Weasleys. I couldn't find her. It's also obvious I own most of the High Skool teenagers. If you hear something from IZ, it belong to JV not me. Anyways, read on fellow doomed ones.  
  
Saphire: Booya! Finally managed to get this out of my head! @_@ It's like been so long since I wrote something. Well here goes my first ZADR. Gods forgive me and what not if it be horrible. You too my unsuspecting doomed slav- I mean. . .Viewers!  
  
MMTPX: This was hell for my to go over. I'm not fond of marking her works while I have to do college at the same time. Mump...Anyways here you go. If you see any mistakes, report them and I'll fix them right away. Be warned, this is long!  
  
Warning: It's Slash/yaoi/gay/mxm. If you do not like a guy and guy having anything past the certain extent of holding hands, then go away and never come back. If you do, keep on reading'! BOOOOYA! Plus don't read warning 2 if your ok with this, unless you'd like too listen to me rant about idiots and flaming.  
  
Warning2: If you people haven't read the above and this, then you go and flame me saying how nasty I am, well fuck you all and your stupidity. I placed warnings and such. And if you still don't like it, well OFMG I don't care! Plus I don't appreciate it, nor do my fellow writers, for being criticized on our works, when the complainers only read a part of the works and not most of it, judging it before they realize what is going on. If you have complaints and are disgusted, tough luck. We don't care, plus if you don't like it, why bother going to all this trouble of finding the damned nasty story (which was probably very well Written like Sakata's) and then think of excuses to ban us from the interent, you got a whole new thing coming. You've wasted your time and ours by complaining.  
  
Note: Yes this is my first attempt at a IZ verse fic. This is naturally set about 7 years in the furniture. I may be sick and twisted but the one I will not find sexually appealing is little children the ages 10 and lower ending up in sexual innuendos. R&R, please enjoy.   
  
Note2: I make patterns for POVs. In the first chapter, Zim's POV begins, and in the second Dib's. Yes it may be confusing, but I write a lot. I still have other stories, editing jobs and artwork to make. Not to mention homework and normal work. I'm only 16 for Christ's sake! MMTPX is 21. There and blah.  
  
Note3: I put a dedication and a random sponsor, which obviously isn't really sponsoring me. It's just what I may be using/eating at the time. The first chapter I was listening to the Goldfish commercial and I used that. The second chapter was popping a few Mentos. The third…I was watching the Viagra Commercial from Japan. Did you know that in the year 1999, Japan banned the making of Viagra Soft drinks because small children would buy them and unknowingly digest the hormonal drugged soft drink and then develop growths or defects in their sexual hormones later on? ^_^ Well anyways…La My Disclaimer/Warning/Notes/Crap is done!   
  
ENJOY MY HORRIBLE, TIME CONSUMING, MIND WARPING, CRAP I CALL A FIC!  
  
(PS: please R&R with nice things to say….^^;;) 


	2. Dreads and Threads

The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Goldfish.   
  
The yummy snack that smiles back until you bite their heads off.  
  
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Dedication: Sakata  
  
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Chapter 1:  
  
Dreads and Threads  
  
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It was an uneventful day, just like most that happened on a weekend for me. The only slightly interesting thing that would happen where the stupid things GIR would do, or say. Currently at this moment, he was squealing with the utmost of joy, dancing to a strange techno song I had downloaded from the internet. Sand Storm I think it was called. I sighed. I have had at least five whole years to fix GIR, yet every time I do, I find he'll just undo what I've achieved to make him smarter.   
  
"Lookit! W007! Mah butt iz a covered in shiny metal!" I placed my face into my palm. God it was sickening how nothing bothered the little robot. Little indeed. Since I got here, everyday I grew taller. About to the height of. . . 5'7''. I must say I am very pleased, yet annoyed when I had to raise the ceiling in the house, and every room. Considering the amount of times I have managed to smack my head on my kitchen doorway, I was glad I raised the roof, so to speak. I suppose the reason I have grown, is either A: The food here with all these new nutrients and vitamins, or B: The Earth's gravitational pull being a hell of a lot lighter then Irk's and the fact I am living on the surface of this planet, instead of halfway to the world's core.  
  
"Caned fries are yummy with bacon!" My eye twitched as GIR threw a bacon and fry filled can of Poop Cola at me. I just barely managed to dodge the damned thing. As I looked behind me, I saw a trail of fries and bacon bits fly past my head, and reaching it's final destination. The odd green monkey portrait on the wall. Note to self: get rid of that thing, it scares me.  
  
I sighed, yet again, running my hands through my dread locks. I was quite glad to have hair now. though I went through hell and back to get it. I remember I was creating a new wig for myself for Junior High about three years ago. Though, because of GIR and his astounding creativity mixed with his stupidity, had dumped fusing solution on it with out my knowledge. So, when I went to put it on, my hair literally took root. It took me a week to get my antennae to stick out with out harm, and be hidden in the dreads. It was quite painful and I had to miss the very first week of Junior High Skool. Oh how Dib had laughed at me on the first day I got back, though the new friends I had made thought otherwise. It was creepy. I got accepted into a group of skaters, punkers, rockers, and Goths. Much to my surprise, they thought my attitude was very amusing since most of them were quite insane.   
  
I remembered a bit more. The next two years, Dib was accepted into the same group, and he still continued to claim I was an alien. Though the fact was true, the group just ignored his ramblings. Soon after we became good friends. That was a surprising thing. I remember the exact same day we became friends. October 22nd, at 11:13 which was a year ago.   
  
Then:  
  
I had been arguing with Kihana about her drawings. And that aliens wouldn't have that type of anatomy, and have very much the same as humans. Sexual I mean. She said that aliens were strange 'hentai tentacle demons with laser beams attached to their beaks.' This just reminded me of my visit to Sea World, and seeing an octopus with one of my lasers in it's face. In all my years I have never ever seen anything like that in the data banks of the Irken empire. I even asked the Tallests Red and Purple about it, describing in great detail. The reaction I got from them was a frantic scream and Purple pleading to the Irken Gods of: "Oh dear Gods, don't let it be true that things as horrible exist!" And Red screaming in terror putting my information into the database, warning every invader about this species, and to shoot and kill on contact.  
  
Well, needless to say, Dib got into the argument, and to my dismay, agreed with everything I said, though he did say: "Though I wouldn't actually know if an alien, say, an Irken, or Zim in this case, would have the exact same Earthling sexual appendages." Afterwards, he shot me and look, which brought us into a fight. My argument with Kihana ended abruptly and my fight with Dib ensued. After arguing the entire Biology class of all things, Dib stood up as most of the students were vacating the premises of Ms. Sours' classroom, Ms. Sours must have been Ms. Bitters' sister or cousin or something, and said;  
  
"If you have one, it's highly unlikely, and even if you did, I'd feel sick knowing what you do with it at night." Dib snickered at me. I just growled. We had managed to argue to the point of my being an alien, when Kihana and her friends, Loki, and Icarus were listening contently.  
  
"That would be none of your business Dib-human! What I do in my spare time at night is not that if you think so. Believe me, I have no interest in the perverse ways of human or Irken masturbation." I heard the one called Loki squeal much like GIR.  
  
"Prove it!" My eyes went wide as I turned and stared at the blue and blonde haired women. My jaw dropped when I looked at the other two still there.  
  
"Shit!" I cursed in the human language of English first, then moved on to various curses in Irkish "Ichgans! Kijoli! Ish nan goshier! Zim you fucking moron! And you Dib! You planned this all along didn't you!?" Dib looked just as shocked that they were there as I was.  
  
"Don't think we're stupid, Zim." Loki smiled and watched Ms. Sours glare at us, then leave to go to the staff room.  
  
"Your all doomed!" Ms. Sours suddenly hissed, swiftly poking her head in, then leaving. God she reminded of Ms. Bitters.  
  
"You listening Zim? I said we're not stupid. Well I'm not, though I appear to be." Loki said quite calmly, taking a bite of a pear, like me being an alien was perfectly normal.  
  
"But... How...?" I said, but before Loki spoke, Dib smiled.  
  
"Well, I've known since 5th grade. And if your thinking I told anyone since our truce after Skool last year, your wrong. I've kept up my end of the bargin." I looked at Dib, and cursed my luck. If more people knew, I'd end up on a dissection table somewhere in Texas or Roswell.  
  
"Well, I wont tell anyone, Zim." Loki looked up at me and smiled, pointing to the door and poking Icarus. He nodded and went to the door, and closed it, making a click, before walking back and sitting. Loki took another bite, and continued as Kihana stared at her, Icarus doing the same.  
  
"I should know when I see something from the paranormal, mystical, galactic, or magical plain. Because I'm a chimera." She finished her pear, and threw it in the trash like a basketball player before continuing. "Besides, Tak got me pretty damn aware alien's exist. I just didn't think they'd ever visit this sorry excuse for a planet. All we have is depleting minerals, gems, oils, and metals. Besides," She stopped and looked at Dib, then back at me. "I've been stalking you two for about a year now."   
  
"You were stalking us!?" Dib shrieked. I snickered. I couldn't help it. "What are you laughing at alien boy?"  
  
"I find it funny, while you were stalking me, taking down notes, and I took notes about you, she and Tak must have been doing the same with us. I get it now."  
  
"Smart one. Plus I foudn it strange that a little green dog kept comming out side screaming about odd things I scream about. And the fact you have green skin, and no ears, nor nose or correctly shaped and poportional eyes. I wont tell, neither will Iccie or Kihana. Right?" She looked at the two, they just nodded with their jaws dropped.  
  
"Wait, your a chimera? What's that?" I asked, a bit curious. Loki smile got wider. She peeled some of her skin off to reveal a light blue tinge with black stripes on her arm.  
  
"I'm part aquatic creature, part golem, part white demon, and part human." I looked at her in awe.  
  
"How. . ?" She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, taping her finger nails against the table.  
  
"Let's just say, I had a very interesting accident with a laser from my lab. My father works with yours, Dib. Professor Kydo Sakimaro. I was chasing around Tak, trying to get her to tell me about herself. My intentions with her were quite different then Dib's plans to kill or maim you, and to expose you. Back to my topic. All thanks to Tak, she got into my father's lab and attacked me with my dad's experimental gene splicer, thinking it was a laser blaster of doom. The data and cells I managed to collect from the different creatures got in the machine, and then the laser fired at me. Needless to say, Tak got away and left the planet a few days later. Since then, I've been stuck like this." She stopped talking, and cursed, flinging her fist into the air, cursing in some strange language before fixing her arm back up. MIf my eyes could go wider, my contacts would either fling out and hit Dib in the forehead, or just fall out harmlessly.  
  
"She's like you, Zim, scary." Loki's head came down and she glared at Dib.  
  
"I am not an Irken damn it! I am a chimera! Proud of it too." She suddenly squealed and looked at me. "So, you gonna prove it?" her head cocked to the side, she grinned in such a disturbingly cute way, it made me want to crawl away and hide under a rock, yet worship the cuteness.  
  
"No! My privates are to remain private damnit!" I covered my crotch with a text book and she frowned.   
  
"Oh well, time to go for lunch! We're late as it is, Iccie, Kiki!" She jumped up and smiled, leaving the room with her friends. Kihana stopped and looked back.  
  
"I guess I believe you now. . ." then she was gone. I mumbled curses under my breath. Dib looked at me and began to laugh like a homicidal manic.  
  
"Your blushing! Your actually blushing! You let a 'girl' get to you! his funny!" Dib pulled on his back pack and smiled with glee. But then looked at me and frowned. He walked around me and stared at my back.  
  
"What now stink-beast?" He looked up and poked my back. I jumped and whirled around and glared at him, raising my fist, and shaking it at him. "Do not touch my person!"  
  
"Ok ok, but I was wondering, where's your pak thingie?" I smiled, and thrust my fist up into the air, a my index finger pointing at the ceiling.  
  
"I removed it!" Dib's eyes went wide and stared at me.  
  
"Y-you'll die...and..." I snickered as he stammered.  
  
"Dib-worm worrying about moi? I'm surprised. But, if you must know, it was pissing me off so I removed it, and made a simple chip and stuck that into my arm. It's more efficient, yes, and not to mention I have no use of my spider legs unless I wear the Pak, but I can get around easier. Plus I found out that the pak was attached to a nerve in my back that made it so I couldn't do certain things." Dib cocked an eyebrow at my last statement. I waved him off and smiled weakly.  
  
"Wanna eat lunch with me? Dib-worm?" He laughed and nodded. I grabbed my back pack and left the classroom with him. We walked to the litter group that we were in. And then I heard a voice that made me jump and nearly fall down the stairs.   
  
"Zim! I'm so glad your in the High Skool too!" I shuddered and looked over my shoulder. Sweat trickled down my neck and looked over at the group, realizing Loki, Icarus and Kihana were there. Never knew that. . .  
  
"Wow Zim, you've changed these past few years! Your so cool! I Wanna be just like you!" My eye twitched, and Dib sensing this looked over at the orange haired boy. He laughed and sat down next to Icarus.  
  
"Your on your own Zim." He said and took out his math homework and became doing a few problems.  
  
"Curse you." I shook my fist at Dib, then turned to look at the twitching shorter boy before me. He was just bubbling with joy.  
  
"Hello Keef. And how are you?" I managed to keep my voice calm, but my fist was balled up so tight, I was ripping the leather off my gloves at the knuckles.  
  
"Oh I'm fine, and I see your fine! Everything's gonna be so much better now that I've found you and. . ."   
  
"Enough! You pathetic filthy moronic human!" I reached into my pocket and pulled out a remote. I knew I'd see Keef again in High Skool. It was inevitable. I pushed a button and then Keef turned, and ran off towards the Geeks, screaming about salami.  
  
"Good, that should keep him away for a about a year or two. . ." I ran my fingers through my hair, and sat down in the circle. Everyone was staring at me.  
  
"WHAT!?" They turned back to what they were doing and ate in silence, a few laughing, and a few still looking at me strongly.  
  
"Well, that's a way to deal with problems. Say, make me a remote too?" I looked over at Dib and smiled.  
  
"Only if you don't use it against me." Dib nodded and handed me a piece of his cookie. I sniffed it and looked at if all over to see if he had poisoned it. I shrugged and ate it.  
  
"See? I wont hurt ya anymore."  
  
"Oh joy, I am over thrown with happiness. No really I am." We both laughed and shared in a few jokes, and looking at some of Loki, Iccie's and Kiki's art work.  
  
Now:  
  
I smiled, then promptly had another can chucked at me by GIR. This time It hit my forehead, causing an instant dent to form on impact.  
  
"GOSIKOLP NI ISH IRK!" GIR understood exactly what I was screaming about and fled to his room down stairs in such a hurry, he fell twice before I heard his bedroom door slam shut. I rubbed at my temples and moaned. I had such a headache. The phone decided to let me know it existed, by ringing annoyingly. I walked over and picked it up, and listening quietly for who it was.  
  
"Zim! Guess what?" I groaned. It was Ms. Sours. I could hear her disgusting old haggish voice seep in to the other side of the phone and out of the reciever into my non-existant ear.  
  
"What Ms. Sours?" I waited patiently.  
  
"I am dreadfully unhappy to inform you. . ." My mouth twitched into a smile. If she was unhappy about something, it ment it was good for me. "That you have gotten an A on your biology report. It wont matter in the end though, your still doomed! I also need to speak to your parents. . ." My smile fell.  
  
"Ms. Sours, I don't have parental units. They uh, died recently." Yeah, that's it. . . "I am of legal age to live alone. The only thing close to a parent I have is Loki's mother, or Dib's father. Or my uncle Red and Uncle Purple." I couldn't believe I had just called my Tallests, my uncles. I got silence, and I almost thought she hung up on me, but then she spoke up, in an unnerving, sickening voice, that somewhat sounded like a dying rat in the sewer gasping for food before it's death.  
  
"Well, I see. How may I contact your uncles?" I cursed myself in Irken. "Uh, they live in. . . Russia." More silence.  
  
"At least they don't live in France or Chad. Well, since seeing I can never get a hold of Professor Membrane, or Loki's parents either, your off the hook. Good bye doomed teenaged scum, and remember, YOUR DOOMED!" I heard a click, and then the dead dial tone, signifying I was off the hook literally.  
  
"Damned bitch. She and Ms. Bitters can rot in hell!" I sighed and moved upstairs towards my room. I took off my night shirt and rummaged around my cabinet for my mesh shirt. I found my black muscle shirt instead and picked it up. I looked around for the shirt everywhere and cursed loudly when I came up with nine pairs of slacks, four shirts and not my mesh one. I turned and grabbed a pair of black torn baggy pants and a pair of gray socks, while looking around my bed for a clean pair of underwear and smiled when I found my silk boxers. I picked them up and rubbed them on my cheek. I love silk and polyester. I ducked into my bathroom that conjoined to my room. I still needed to redo the door way here, but I'm a bit lazy.   
  
"Now where is the repellent. . . Oh there it is." I reached under the sink and grabbed the small bottle of pills. I took two, and popped them into my mouth, chewing and shuddering at the awful taste they had. I could have made them taste better, but as I have previously stated, I am lazy. I'll do it next time. Drawing the bath for myself and pulling off my night-time boxers and socks, I poked at my stomach.   
  
Due to the past three years of Psychical education as the humans call it, though I find it quite the hell, it has grately increased my psyichical endurance. It should be called Physical labor to the third power. But, the result was that I had gotten into shape fairly quick, and I could do a lot of things a hell of a lot easier. I learned that my Sodkos are abdominal muscles. And all the other muscles I had that never had names now had names. Though I was missing the last 2 abs that went downwards past my naval that a 'normal' human had. But since humens hardly ever formed them, I was lucky.  
  
I waited for a few minuets until the bath was filled, and shut the water off, slowly dipping my finger into the water to see if my pills took effect yet. I yelped when I found they were, but damn, the water was as hot as a furnace. I grumbled and heard a giggle from behind me. Whipping my head backwards, having my dread locks smack into my eyes, I saw GIR giggling and pointing at me. I blew my hair from my eyes as I picked up a large bar of cleansing chalk, ready to throw it at him.  
  
"What the hell are you laughing at, you defective SIR unit!?"   
  
"Master is naked and has a big sausage with meat balls!" Then GIR screamed and ran back to his room before I could through the entire contents of my bathroom at him.  
  
"Stupid robot!" I turned back to the tub and then, the door bell rang.  
  
"Damn it! Why must fate delay me from my tasks and piss me off!" I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist, not caring I was half nude and walked all the way down to the front door. I opened the door, glaring at who ever dared to bother me. My eyes widened and I laughed softly, seeing Dib in an alien mask standing there trying to scare me.  
  
"Hey Dib-worm." I opened the door wider and stepped off to the side. "You may intrude and enter my domain of doom." I turned and began my journey up the stairs.  
  
"Hey, can I watch TV till your done, Zim? My sister has a few of her friends over and Loki's aunt is over talking with my father, so I was told to leave in such a kind voice by my wonderful kind and caring sister." I waved him off with a chuckle at his remark about his sister and walked up stairs, hearing the door slam. I went up stairs and got into the bath, and instead of taking and nice long, relaxing soak, I cleaned my self quickly, and dressed in my clothing I had picked out from before.  
  
I ran down the stairs, nearly tripping over a package of ground beef, with GIR contently playing with his rubber piggy and squealing about some absurd thing he'd seen on the horrible shows he watches on TV. I rolled my eyes at his profound stupidity and continued to the kitchen.   
  
"Your show should be done in a half hour I suspect?" I asked and looked over my shoulder at Dib who was contently watching the big screen TV which pretty much took up the wall, with many little TVs around it. He was drooling and the only reply I got from him was a hasty nod and a grunt.  
  
"All right, I'll be down in my lab making some more repellent." Another grunt and I shrugged, reaching the spot where the toilet used to be, which was now replaced with a revolving doorway. I got inside, and pressed the red button with the Irken word for down. I smiled as I fell down the shoot and through the glass tube. I shuddered remembering a few days ago. GIR had used this route and because of his iron ass, he cut through the glass and broke it. Then, later when I went to use I nearly had the outer layer of my skin removed. I was pretty glad the computer informed me about five seconds before I hit the jagged shards of death so I could take the fork in the path which redirected me to the lab teleportation units. It ment I had to walk a whole four hall ways to get to the Lab, but at least I still had my skin and life in tact. Not to mention my favorite t-shirt.   
  
GIR was then, banned from using that way to get into the labs until I got around to switching the shoots with unbreakable clear Titanium tubing. Which probably would take me at least a year to do. As I got into the lab, my computer flicked on like it always does, but at the lower left corner of the screen, my mail from Irk, which was cut off for the last four years, was up to twenty messages. I blinked and sat in my huge cushy wheelie chair that I got from Office Staplers and Wheelie Chairs.   
  
"Why in the universe are they contacting me now? This makes no sense what-so-ever!" I grumbled and switched on the rest of the computer and went though my 'inbox' and through the letters. Most were from Tallest Purple, and like three were from Tallest Red, two from Tak, and one from Loki which was a plain email.   
  
I sighed, rubbing my temples. This wasn't helping my head ache. I had a lot of reading to do. Just at the moment when I opened the first message, three more were added to my inbox. I groaned. This was going to be a long day.   
  
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MMTPX: Oh the length of notes and warnings. . .  
Saphire: *slaps MMTPX* Hush!  
MMTPX: Plus this chapter is odd. . . not much plot. Like a story that ended   
Saphire: Fine then I wont add more chapters. . .  
MMTPX: I didn't say give up  
Saphire: I continue. . .maybe   
  
I apologize the story got slow at the end. but it'll pick up in chapter two. Loki Belongs to me, Kihana to Okari/Kichan and Icarus belongs to Vela. Thank you.  
  
You will not hear from them anymore unless I decide to write them in. Don't worry, It still is going to be a ZADR, but I need a lot more time.  
  
Note: I just thought dreads would look screamingly wonderful on Zim! And the repellent in now pills!  
  
Friends welcome to add me to their MSN or be my friends. If you have any requests of any kind, picture drawing, fic writing, chatting, or fic editing, email me. 


	3. Dib's Little Misadventure With da Fridge

The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Mentos  
  
Mentos, the fresh maker.  
  
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Dedication: Sakata, and Lina Inverse  
  
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Chapter 3:  
  
Dib's Little Misadventure With the Fridge  
  
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I yawned and looked at the screen. Just as Zim left to go to his laboratory, my show, 'Mysterious Mysteries 20XX' appeared on the many television screens. I giggled and wriggled my butt into the squishy mattress. It was old and it did smell funny from never being washed. But that was to be expected, since seeing Zim never used this room, and GIR always did. Not to mention the fact that the little SIR unit ate the strangest things and spilled most of his exotic and disgusting treats onto the fabric of the couch, and usually hid the mess with a pillow, or turning the cushion over. It sorta smelled like mints and Poop Cola...  
  
~"We are sorry to inform you, our loyal paranormal investigative audience, that, today's second half of the show is canceled do to one of our main camera men getting into an accident with a Yeti. Please stand by and watch the alien head or just go out and entertain yourselves. Thank you, and we're sorry for the inconvenience"~  
  
I growled and chucked a smelly pillow at the biggest screen in the middle. Why must fate always detour me from watching my favorite show. Though, most of the stuff they show is fake. I've proven them wrong on several occasions, but I managed to show them a lot of really good stuff. I sighed. Well, since fate was being a bitch, yet again, I might as well get something to eat.  
  
I stood up, then I walked over to the refrigerator, and slowly pulled open. I nearly keeled over when the smell of really old stale yeast and baking soda hit my nostrils. I could also smell pickles mixed with raspberry yogurt. Augh, this must be GIR's fridge. Though you got to wonder. . . If GIR eats, how does he digest the stuff he eats, and wears does it go when he fills up and. . . I decided I didn't want to know the answer to that.  
  
I slammed the door shut and waved my hands about, gasping for fresh air. Mind you, the only breathable air around was probably near the trash can, which was a lot more sanitary then the fridge. And that in it's self, was sad.   
  
I scurried over to the open window and took deep breathes of wonderful polluted grimy air. My lungs weren't very happy with the transition, but my nostrils were more then willing to sacrifice a few years of my life in order to be comfortable. Besides, with my father's little secret life prolonging drugs, I was pretty sure I could last a while longer.   
  
"BACON CHEESE PIE!!!!!!" I jumped nearly ten feet into the air, hearing GIR's tiny, yet alarming voice scream behind me. All he did was giggle, point and laugh at me. I hung my head and as my lungs had to, yet again, get used to breathing properly. I looked at the little robot who was sticking his tongue out and squinting his eyes, smiling like some retarded farm animal. I shuddered at what he was holding.  
  
"GIR. . ." I asked, my voice a bit squeaky, and my stomach churning at the slimy greasy yellow thing he was holding.  
  
"Yes?" The defective little robot answered, turned his head so that his face was almost completely upside down, his left eyes twitching as though he was going to snap at any moment. (But then again, he already had on several occasions.)  
  
"What is that your holding. . . Dare I ask?" The scrap of metal screamed and jumped up and down a few times, then threw the sickly looking growth into the air.  
  
"It's my lunch from last week I dropped behind the oven! I just found it now! Mesa gonna eat it now!" GIR happily babbled away, not talking to anyone in particular, then looked up in the air and continued, "I missed you yellow glowing radio active slime!" With that, GIR tilted his head back a bit more, opening his mouth wide, letting the awful substance to slip down his throat, and into his belly with sickening splash, then a crunch. He gurgled and giggled, then ran back up stairs.  
  
"Ehehehehe! Booya! Mocha grades, aria!" I cringed, hearing a few crashes and then dead silence. How could Zim live with that annoying little stampeding robotic typhoon? After shaking off that thought, I yawned and stretched, looking at the revolving door Zim had to use now. I chuckled, I couldn't help it. He'd grown so tall since Skool. So tall he had to 'raise the roof'. I laughed at the mental joke, knowing it was very lame and very over used.  
  
I thought about going down to the lab, but then again, Zim may be doing something he wouldn't want me to see. Shaking my head after a horrid scene flashed through my mind of what he might be doing. 'He could be wanking off. Very well could be, he doesn't get any chicks, nor does he show interest in companionship beyond the point of friendship. Ok, why am I a bit sad now?' I hung my head a bit, my stupid protruding lock of hair drooped in my face. You'd think since I'm seventeen now, and that all the new hair products out there, I could fix this problem. But no, my hair has to be difficult.  
  
I looked back up, and at the wall. I saw a picture of Zim, me, Loki, GIR and Gaz standing outside of Bloatie's. I remember that. It was my seventeenth birthday. Wasn't very special, though Zim and Loki had pressured me into doing the most wildest things ever. A hell of a lot wilder then the galactic space battle of planets I had with Zim when I was eleven. They took me and Gaz out to the Horse Head nebula and we surfed, yes surfed on the waves of the nebula. I felt like the Silver Surfer, one of Loki's comic book characters. That was a great birthday. one of the best. But as Zim had said, or rather, muttered when he thought I wasn't listening, was;   
  
~"Your next birthday will be a hell of a lot better if I manage to grow two more inches."~   
  
Oh and had Zim ever grown into those words. By two feet instead of the inches he so desperately pleaded the Irken, and human gods for. I suppose the gods had had enough toying with him and decided to give the poor little. . . Well, not so little Irken a break. I closed my eyes, thinking of Zim. Him and I were so different, yet, exactly the same. I somewhat think he is the Irken carbon copy of myself. Only a little bit more out going. Though, now he is taller then me, though he stills says I'll grow taller, me being human and all. Yeah, all humans grow into the amazing 6'7" Mikeal Flordon, hit basketball player, lady killer and the blackest Africian-Americian around. That reminded me of something. Zim was the perfect kissing height. Wait. I did not just think of that. Did I? No, I must be malfunctioning as well, due to those highly toxic odors from the fridge.  
  
"I must be going slightly mad. . ." I groaned when the radio began to play that exact same song by King. I slowly shuffled over to the kitchen table, and pulled out the strangest looking chair in the house. It looked like an egg chair from way back when in the sixties. I sat in it, and sank about a foot into the chair. Smiling with such comfort and glee, I shut my eyes and yawned. Slowly, my head tilted to the side and I fell into a peaceful, GIR destruction free sleep. I may have even drooled. . .  
  
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Saphire: Yeay! I finished the shortest part of a story ever, considering most chapters in my stories are...30-40kb and not 9.8kb. (10-12 pages, but this is barely 3)  
MMTPX: It's still good. Considering you made chapter 6, and 5 before hand.  
Saphire: True. Well, that was Chapter 2. Yes I know it sucked, (short is more like it) but I need it in order to get going with the plot. Sorry it's a day late. I got side tracked reading Lina Inverse's FanFic, 'Sight' I loved it so much I drew a pic for it. Mwa! @_@ BTW, Thanks Lina!  
  
Note2: Yes, I did refer to GIR as Vash the Stampede! \/\/007! Heee. Micheal Jordan is Mikeal Florden! Woot. The band Queen in now King! I'm a sad person. But I love Queen! You all suck if you hate them! We are, the youth of the nation! WAAAAAAAA! Oh yeah, I dissed myself! Lame and over used jokes are still funny, no matter what you think. *shakes her candy little ass at every one* Booya!  
  
Fact: Oh, incase you wonder why I use 'Booya' a lot. . . Well, one of my friends Ran, a little Russian commie bot, is from Bob and George, which is where I met the 'Kenny' Of BNG! :P Kiss mah arse! I love you Ran! Oh, even made a shirt with his name across the chest. Aren't I naughty? Now when ever I laugh, my boobs jiggle and Ran feels it. Sorta. . . I. Am. So. Lame. ^_^;; 


	4. Letters From the Inbox of Hell

The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Viagra  
  
It's great to stay up late!  
  
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Dedication: Sakata  
  
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Chapter 3:  
  
Letters from the Inbox of Hell  
  
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I growled and fumbled with the keyboard. Why must I be bothered by the Tallests? They made it pretty clear I wasn't to contact them at all. Ever again. Plus, not to mention they made it very, very clear, They hated me and never wished to see me ever again. I rubbed at my temples. My day wasn't going good at all. Were they just going to bitch at me more to spout off more anger a short invader induced? Why me. . . I clicked on the bottom message first, which was from Tallest Purple. I nearly fell off my chair at the length of the letter. I scanned it, over, and just barely got past the formalities when the important thing caught my eye.  
  
~Zim, I know we've had our differences, and we've banished you and all. . . But, we need someone who is an expert with the substance called "water" and since your the only invader that can withstand this "water" I need, I mean, we need you to go on a mission for me, I mean us. Can you please mail me back? Or at least get on your computer? We need to talk in person and you'll understand better"~  
  
My eye was quirked a bit. 'They' needed 'my' help? All because I can withstand "water." Whoop-tee-do. Why should I? I read every message from Purple. All basically the same, only ending with more annoyance I haven't replied, with a touch of fear I wouldn't. It's been what. . . A week since I last used the Computer. Hey, don't judge me man, I was just getting into this new thing, a sport, called "Football." It baffles me how they call it "Football" and they use their hands to touch the ball more then their feet. Humans, go figure. I began on Red's first letter.  
  
~"Zim, I know you think I know I hate you, But I don't. Blah, stupid formalities. I'm no good with them as Purple is. You know that. Besides, I need you down here. We need to invade a planet filled with "water." But I could care less. We need other things down before the invasion. Purple's idea really. He's bitching at me non stop. He's wanting to know why you haven't mailed back. I jokingly said you might be dead, but hey, no matter how many times we've tried to kill you, you come back. I got an earful. Anyways, reply to Purple or I'll take my Voot cruiser down to that "Arth" you live on, and are so fond of, and drag you back here. Anything for a good night's rest."~   
  
Most were the same, but his got shorter and shorter. Then each would have;  
  
~"Zim, answer damnit, or die!"~  
  
I sighed as I opened Loki's letter. Her's was long. Wonderful. I was surprised to see it encoded in Irken. Wow, ya got to admit she tries hard to impress people.  
  
~"Hey Zim-Ziminy-Zim-Zimers!"~ My eye twitched, I hate it when she calls me that. ~"How are you? I'm fine, glad you didn't ask. My father's being a bastard, yet again. Considering he isn't even my biological father. He's ignoring me non stop. I don't care if he's a world famous scientist like Dib's. My mother is on a drinking binge, and my step-sister is bringing home guy after guy, offering them to me first, and when I refuse she uses them for her own sick and twisted ways. Say, it's Tuesday now, and Gaz is having a sleep over on Saturday. I was wondering If I could bring GIR along. He's so adorable and I do need a new plushie, though he is a piece of metal. A cute one at that. Please? *Does various cute things you can see in the attachment* If you say yes I'll. . . Um. . . Do your home work for Ms. Sours' class for the next month and a half? PLEASE? Ok nuff of that. I was wondering, when is your birthday? Do Irkens even have birthdays? It would be so cool. If you do, how old are you? Earth/Irken years are appreciated. BOTH! Well my mom's being a raging drunken bitch. Jess is being the fat whore that she always is. (y sister.) Wonderful. Ego says hello I'm sure. Ego? Who's Ego your thinking? He's my pet chameleon. Prank and Trick are off somewhere in my bedroom looking for food. (They be ferrets! I wuv my fuzzies!) Anyways, See ya Zim!  
  
Bye-so!"~  
  
Well, that was long. Plus, I only caught one error. She called the Massive, which is Visasem, Visesam. Which is a type of laughing gas. I picked up on what she ment. Mind you there was about five more pages. Plus four attachments of her doing various cute things, and one with a pic of the entire gang running from a bunch of rabid dogs. My eyes were burning and felt like they would melt into a puddle of jelly. I groaned, and wrote back, quickly with my answer to Loki first. Shortly after I wrote an apology letter to the Tallests, saying I was busy and not using my lab anymore due to not being assigned to anything. I explained a few things, how much I've changed, but I left out my appearance. When I was completely done, thanking the gods above, I leaned back into my chair and took a long breath. The computer screen blipped, then, with out warning, a picture of the Irken Empire's logo flashed on screen.  
  
~"Incoming, live, transmission from the Irken Empire, Zim"~   
  
I jumped up and nearly fell out of the chair. I was just about to fall asleep too. I grumbled and fixed my hair, brushing the locks out of my eyes. I really need to change the computer's voice to something less loud and booming. Or at least get a roaming chip to detect how far away I was from the computer so it could turn up, or down the volume.  
  
"Computer, accept transmission." I backed the chair up a bit, waiting for the computer to process the command. I kept running my fingers through my hair, deciding I liked the way my claws scraped against my scalp. Tallest Purple's image appeared on the screen, and boy did he looked tired, worn down, and frightened.  
  
"Zim! Gods, where have you been boy, wait, never mind you just sent that message. Well Zim. . . What the hell. . . Hey, Red, c'mere, Look at this!" Purple turned to face Red, who was sitting peacefully, yet he had the same worn down look Purple had, and waved to him to get up and come to the computer.  
  
"Yeah, what is it Purple?" Red was mumbling softly, hovering towards the computer screen. Then, he blinked and stared at me.  
  
"You got to be shittin' me. You contacted an Earthling's house!? You idiot Purple!" My eye twitched. I wasn't 'that' human-looking was I? Then again I couldn't tell anymore. Years of blending in seemed to rip away my true identity. I opened my moth to say something, but Purple but in.  
  
"'You' must be the idiot. Since when do human's have bright red eyes, no nose and green toned skin?" Purple looked at Red, and jabbed him in the ribs. Red's squeak of discomfort made me smile a little.  
  
"Ow! Since when do Irkens have hair? Or is that some weird mop wig thing, Zim?" I sighed and shook my head, though he was half right. I could see Red trying to hold back a bit of laughter.  
  
"Nope, it's real hair. Fused to my scalp." I took a few locks, and yanked harshly, wincing a little bit because I had caught one of my antennae in the bunch. Red's eyes were very wide. Purple just nodded, knowing I had to make myself look more human so I wouldn't get killed.  
  
"But, your build's nothing like that of an Irken. You appear to be 5'9", and have growths on your arms and chest I've never seen before." My eye twitched a bit more, this time in irritation and offendedness.  
  
"Those 'growths' you so wrongfully accuse them of being, are muscles. Big slabs of meat under the skin. What I used to get them was something new to the empire. It's called exercise. Something most Irkens rarely get when they use their mech legs. Or Voot cruisers and other traveling devices. Plus I eat a lot healthier foods Irkens can only dream of getting. We get fat-free, gourmet nachos with the works, same with curly fries." I smiled when their eyes when as wide as saucers.  
  
"You hear that? They have-" Purple shut Red up by smacking him with a piece of cloth that closely resembled human undergarments. Briefs to be exact.  
  
"Yeah, I heard. But our situation is a lot worse damn it!" Purple looked at me then smiled.  
  
"Getting down to business I take it?" I said and stood up, yawning, and stretching my arms out.  
  
"Shit! He's not 5'9" He looks taller!" I cracked open an eye, then laughed softly. Funny how all they cared about was height. I've learned height isn't was makes you smarter then everyone. It's how you process what goes on in your head, and how you act, and the hard work you do to get you where you wanna be.   
  
"6'4" to be exact. But I'm not measuring or anything." I laughed a bit more, they both paled, going from a bright, vibrent green, to a pale pastel shade of the previous color. The Tallests themselves were only 5'3", and Dib was 5'10". GIR. . . Well um. . . GIR was like 2'1".  
  
"Shit, if he came back, Purple, he could dethrone us. . . And. . ." I chuckled and licked my dry lips.  
  
"I'm no longer interested in becoming the Almighty Tallest Zim. I'm very happy with my life here. Besides, I can't even control a simple disfunctioning SIR unit, let alone the Irken Empire. Well, what is your problem? Spit it out already. Dib's upstairs waiting for me." They gave me a quizzical look. Purple was shocked I didn't care much anymore. Red was giggling like a perverted banshee. "Not in 'that' sense as in waiting for me. Your a sicko. You may be the ruler of the Empire, but that still doesn't allow you to be rude. Especially with my sex life, with I don't even believe I have one." Red got into a full blown giggle fit.  
  
"God, even Purple and I have a better sex life then you. This is rich!" Purple blushed just as red as Red himself, then looked down at his feet for a few moments. He coughed, then his hand shot out, grabbed Red's tunic, and pulled him close to his face. He hissed quietly. "I thought we had a deal, for you to be quiet about that!" Red's face contorted from the high amused look it was, to that of a scarred little bed slut, that just found he was to be shot, then fed to hungry necrophiliacs. He began to struggle to get away from Purple's wrath.  
  
"Sorry!" Purple let him go, which when he did, Red fell right onto his bottom, landing with a slight thump, and whimper. Purple stared at Red for a moment, then looked back at me. I glanced at my watch. They managed to waste about a half an hour of my time. I guess Dib would watch "Scariest Hotels in the World" afterwards. I gritted my teeth and my eye picked up the pace with the world's longest twitching record.  
  
"Go. On. Before. I. Decide. To. Terminate. The. Transmission!" The both stared at me. I never sounded that, well, mean. Or demanding in a serious way. Purple sighed and continued, but not before swiftly tying Red up to a chair and turning him to watch re-runs of old Irken training movies.  
  
"Ok, well, one of my friends is stuck on this planet. It doesn't have a name, we called it "Tadoniudech" And, well, they took the Massive from us and we'd like it very much if you'd get it back, please? Our troops managed to kill about 90% of the population. But. . ."  
  
"But your 'in' the Massive." I looked at them, cocking my non-excitant brow. "I can see your belongings and such." I pointed at a few random things inside the huge room the Tallests Red and Purple were forced to share.   
  
"Yeah, about that, I was getting there. We're trapped in about, 700 slomireteks under the surface, and yeah. We need your help. Most of the entrances are covered in "water"."  
  
"What about the special suits you made and. . ." I stopped when Purple's antennae twitched with a nervous, yet constant flick.  
  
"The fitting rooms with our supplies are filled with "water". And, the second, third, and forth kitchen decks are under "water" as well." Purple became really quiet.  
  
"It took me six, count 'em," I held up all my fingers, which made up six digits, "Six. One, two, three, four, five, six, thomns to gets here. By the time I get there you'd be dead. By either starvation, lack of air, or, the water would seep in and slowly burn you to death, or if all that doesn't kill you, you'd be at the point of drowning." Purple's eyes lit up, and he grinned.  
  
"Ok, what now?" I gritted my teeth. Boy they liked to leave out the major details and piss me off, didn't they?  
  
"I have transporters, and they work! Fully operational too." Didn't he know that 'work' and fully operational were basically the same thing in Irken? If it works, it means it's fully operational. Most the of the time. If you exclude GIR that is.  
  
"All right. I'll be there tomorrow I guess." They cheered and Red spoke up.  
  
"Bring a few crates of nachos, tacos, and curly fires! With toppings. Don't skimp on the toppings!" Purple put his face into his tiny palm. and mutter something along the lines of "Nirk gofo Irki fromas dosalo slapinji." Which ment "God damned simple one track mind." In Irken. I sighed.  
  
"Well, farewell. Zim out." We said our 'formal' good byes then I fell back into my chair, groaning. My head ache wasn't getting any better. Infact, it got worse. Very worse. I felt the need to be held. But GIR would try and squish me if I asked that of him. I wanted Dib to hold me, and rub my scalp the right way. Right until I fell asleep. That would be nice. . . I stood and walked to the transporter room. I putt in the coordinates for Irk that I'd be using the next day, and told the computer to begin packing for the trip. I turned and got into the elevator. I was going to see how Dib was fairing, and to see if GIR had killed him with the nasty food or bits of insanity yet.  
  
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Saphire: YEAY! Done another chapter!  
MMTPX: Hell! Bloody Hell! You people better be happy, she called me up at 3 a.m. to proof read this! If the proof reading sucks I could give a shit at the moment. I hate Frat parties with bad beer. I hate Beer period.  
Saphire Aww, Sowwy. *huggles and kisses the Mazoku*  
MMTPX: Mph. . . Thank you..*falls asleep in the cleavage*  
Saphire: -Oo-;;; *pushes him off and continues to talk* Oh god, I'm horrible with puns! Saucers... Sorry, but I love Red and Purple Slash, if anyone knows of a good Red and Purple slash page/shrine, tell me. Then I'll award you by putting your made up char in the story! @_@ maybe. "Tadoniudech" in an anagram for "Touch and die". "slomireteks" is another anagram, but for "kilometers". "Thomns" are months. I love anagrams  
  
Pissed off ramblings: Some bastard reported two of my fics, also pretending to be two different people, and claimed I had no warnings on them. Said they were shit, poorly written, yet I have 2 batas. Which one was sick at the time of writing, and I had to side track MMTPX early in the morning to go over them. When infact, I had like 5 warnings on each, like for this fanfic. I followed the rules of the site to the toe, not describing sexual contact to a sicking extent, yet they reported me. Don't you just hate idiots? Worse enough, they had the balls to flame me before hand. Well tough Snoogans! I saved all my works, and they be on 4 back up disks/floppies. Those stories shall go up on MediaMinor.org. This wont make me stop writing fics. I'll just get encouraged to write more, explicit ones. *evil glint* Ok, Ja ne!  
  
Done!  
Next chapter coming soon! 


	5. Enter the Disturbing DreamWorld of Dib H...

The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Join the Army!  
  
Travel the world, meet interesting people, and kill them!  
  
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Dedication: Sakata  
  
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Chapter 5:  
  
Enter the Disturbing Dream-World of Dib Here!  
  
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I blinked and looked around. I had just waken up, yet, didn't I just fall asleep? I looked to my left. I saw some pretty tripped out melting clocks on trees. Beside, on a dock, was a bald Chinese man, mouth open in a silent scream. Ok, now this was fucked up. At my right, was a forest, and back, when I turned around, was the sea. Or ocean, with a dock. Whatever, some type of large body of water. Ok, so far it wasn't Alice in Wonderland. I heard a deafening screech. I instinctively, held my ears and screamed out in shocked pain, having my brain almost melt away to nothing. As I cracked an eye open, and looked upwards, I managed to catch a glimpse of a dragon swooping down on me. I dropped to my side and rolled off into the woods, which some how ended up downhill. I rolled and rolled, finally smacking into a tree, and something fell on me. I looked at my crotch to see a dead rat laying there, it's head severed and. . . Pink strawberry jam oozing out? Ok, really fucked up.  
  
"Heeeeeeeeey! Give mesa the tasty doughnut back? Pwease?" I looked around while rubbing the back of my head. The pain was doing a very good job to let me know I would have a bruise there. I thought I heard GIR. I swear I had heard him. Otherwise I was going insane.  
  
"Up here!" I looked up, GIR was there, only in his dog suit, grinning from ear to ear. He looked like. . . NO! I refuse to think of it. This cannot be an Alice in Wonderland dream! Wait, dream? If it's a dream can't I change it? I stopped, and started thinking and concentrating hard. I thought of distorting this place to something bit more familiar or entertaining. Nothing happened when I opened my eyes.  
  
"Curses! Foiled again!" I clasped a hand to my mouth instantly. I had not just said that! Everything in the dream was getting cheesier and cheesier. Next thing you know I'll run into Walrus and the Carpenter.  
  
"Hello? My doughnut mister?" I looked back up and bent over, picking up the disgusting jelly-filled carcass and threw it upwards. "Tank joo!" He giggled and disappeared, only his eyes were left, and a creepy grin with his tongue sticking out. I turned and ran out of the forest towards the sea. I ran into a large white coated man. When my eyes focused properly, I smiled.  
  
"Dad?!" I opened my arms to hug him, but, when he turned around, he was not only the exact likeness of my father from the backside, but when he turned around, he looked some what like a clown. I'm deafly afraid of clowns.  
  
"Dad? Who is the parental unit you speak of? I haven't seen a "dad" anywhere." I backed up. He had the body of my father, but the face of a clown. And that was uber frightening. I wondered why he looked so grotesque, then I remembered this is my fucked up dream world, from the very same place that the creepy twisted dimensional version of the real world was created.   
  
"Uh, sorry I must have mistaken you for someone else. Who are you?" I asked as the figured that very much resembled a happy 'Rack Macfolndle' or that short clown from Pawns, loomed over me and chuckled. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a large knife, an evil homicidal glint twinkled off the edge of his goggles.  
  
"I'm. . ." He waited as if a drum roll was in order, or a dramatic pause, "I can't remember!" With that, weirdo Membrane turned on his heel, and started to stab at the ground. When I looked over, I saw that a strange girl with purple hair and huge braces was stuck under at large rock in the ground. Though fate was kind to her in real life, and let her body grow into her teeth. She got a little bit prettier, but not Avareel Larviin pretty. I was a bit confused to say the least. When the clown was done, he lifted up the girl. She looked like a ton of bricks hit her. She looked at me and laughed, way out of character, then began to chuck rocks and various type s of sweet treats at me. Where she got them I really do not want to know.   
  
I turned back towards the woods and fled. I ran past the creepy Cheshire GIR, avoiding the few bits of mutilated rat body parts he threw at me, and high tailed it until I came to a large leather house in the shape of a giant shoe, another like a top hat, and another like a teapot. Ok, this was getting scarier by the second. And if I knew my fairy tales, and I do, and don't ask how, I just do, ok? I'd either find an old fat lady and a bazillion kids pouring out of the shoe, ripping and tearing at my clothes for attention, or I'd find two very insane people just around the corner, lurking in the shadows about to spring up and probably offer me radioactive tea and crumbling biscuits of doom and terrible indigestion.  
  
I picked up a rock and looked at it. I threw it at the door of the teapot, but it went through, the image of the house fizzled, then smoothed it's self out, and went back to looking normal. I blinked, walking up to the hologram and I poked it. It rippled like water, then the image changed to a weird looking fairy women with long violet hair, amber crystal eyes and sparkling white creamy skin. Her wingspan was large, and mostly black, covered in sparkling jewels of all the colors of the rainbow. She smiled at me then spoke with the softest voice I had ever known. Some what like my mother, how much I can remember of her anyways.  
  
"You'll find your true love, but until you realize who it is, your stuck here I'm afraid. Enemies have changed, becoming your friends. The answer lies in the colors of the soft pastel of the forest's ruby eyes. And then, breath of life from the one will wake thee." I blinked, then the likeness that somewhat resembled my mother, disappeared, as did the houses. Ok, so I get some of the meaning. I will find my 'sweet heart'. Next, I am apparently stuck in my slumber until I can find out who it is. The next part, does it go with it? Or was she pulling an off topic thing that dad pulls all the time? "Enemies have changed, becoming your friends" Ok, so those are Zim and GIR. They must be the ones that will help me find my sweet heart here. Wonderful. No offense to them, but I don't think Zim knows what love is. And GIR, he can't even find he way out of a paper bag, but he'd think it'd be cute if anything huggled.   
  
I continued walking through the woods for a while, having the strange feeling someone was following me and watching my every move. Mind you the only things I moved were my legs and my lungs and the heavy cogs in my brain, thinking of strategies to wake my self up.   
  
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeel. Lost? Lost aren't you? I can see that you have no idea where you are, yet, you know where." I looked behind me, wondering where the person went, though it sounded like GIR again. When I turned back around, and nearly jumped out of my skin. Cheshire GIR was hanging upside down, the spot on his back, his eyes, and the weird tongue in the toothy grin visible, just a centimeter from my face. The rest was probably just there, but invisible.   
  
"Well yes, I am a bit lost, yet I know where I am. I am in a dream world that is in my head. And, yet in this place, I have no clue where I am." GIR smiled a bit more manically, then spoke in a quiet, yet firm voice.  
  
"The answer lies in your heart. Find your love, then you may vacate with a breath of life that they give you." I blinked, but when I did, he had disappeared, though an odd chuckling sound continued to linger. That, and the smell of strawberry jam.  
  
I shook my head, being reminded, yet again of that stupid little phrase, though slightly changed to fit GIR's persona. I slowed to a stop, sitting down a small, yet large for a normal mushroom. Running my left, gloved hand through my hair, I tried to think of how to get to the end of this dream, and end it so I could wake up, or hope that GIR would wake me, though I'd prefer Zim too. He'd probably smack my cheeks with a wet rag or tickle my sides to wake me, which was a lot more humane then GIR's methods of doom. GIR, would dangle some nasty week old food in front of my face, and when I woke up to the terrible smell, he'd force feed it to me. I shuddered at the thought of GIR and his rancid food. I felt a cold wind pick up suddenly, and naturally I shrank my head into my trench coat to shield my face from the icy wind.  
  
"Well well. Look at these sorry and pathetic excuse for a man!" I was taken by surprise, yet again. Wonderful. I turned around and saw Gaz and Zim.  
  
"Oh, it's you." Gaz looked at me then smiled.  
  
"Oh hello dear brother, how are you?" I cringed, she's never nice to me, real life, dreams or otherwise. But, she continued to smile sweetly, and then Zim poked my chest. I looked down to the finger, then, Zim's went up, flicking my nose. I fall for it every time. I head him snicker. Ok, so my dream world could change mostly everyone, except Zim. He looked the same as he always is. That mop of hair called dread locks, in a messy brown halo around his head. The traditional black bandana around his head, and his black suit. I sort of miss the old suit, though, after the 'Final Exile', he'd mostly forsaken anything that was Irken. He changed his clothes, most of his house, and his body appearance. He even went as far as to change his Voot cruiser to look like a Chaorrarang F50, RT edition, and closed down his lab turning, it into the world's best gaming zone. I was brought out of my thinking when Zim coughed.   
  
"Ahem, Dib? Hello?" Zim quirked his non-existent eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, er, yeah, I was just thinking about something." I don't know why, but the way Zim was starring at me made my entire body warm up, despite the biting frosty feel of the forest. I felt my face turn red, then I blew out a puff of air, blowing my lock of hair up, then it fell down, against my glasses. Zim's mouth quirked into an unmistakable, trade mark grin, then he began laughing. I blinked, a bit confused, but after a few seconds, I began to laugh as well.  
  
"Ah, glad to see you two getting better acquainted. I'm leaving now." Gaz turned into a puff of smoke, then disappear, some dark clouds following. "Besides, they'll end up like a happy couple, and that's just stupid and sick." The last part I didn't catch I looked back up and saw a glint of something in his eyes, his smirk gone, and a very serious look replaced the happy, care-free attitude that was there before.  
  
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Ok, this is fucked up, but after I wrote this, and worked out all the kinks (which was half of this chapter at the time), I had fallen asleep at the keyboard, had a dream of what I wrote thus far, then, I had more. Upon waking, I had to write the rest of the chapter, deciding I liked my dream's ending much better. Ah, the subconscious mind works in such wonderful mysterious ways. And I love it. Part B of this dream to come later! I know it's short. But I'm the writer, and I don't care! This means you'll get 5 more chapters, that would have made up 3, instead of 2. BYE!  
  
Avareel Larviin is the IZverse's Avril Lavigne. Rack Macfolndle is Ronald McDonald Pawns is Spawn. Chaorrarang is Chaos, mixed with the cars Corvette, Camero, Ferrari F50 race track edition, and a Mustang.  
  
Well this is it for this chapter. R&R? Oh, Btw, Thank you all for waiting. Who here thinks flamers who ban/report properly rated and well edited/written stories just because they are homosexual-like, should be brought out into the middle of the street, raped repeatedly with an egg beater and then shot in the sexual organs till they die a horrible bloody and slow painful death? ME! But then again, being chucked into a tub of acid is worse. 


	6. Tumbling and Fumbling

The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Pepsi  
  
We're the only company to endorse an adorable child to sell our products, then a grown up whore.  
  
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Dedication: Sakata, Cel, TPQ(ArmAndLeg), HopelessParanoidRomantic, and Lina Metallium  
  
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Chapter 6:  
  
Tumbling and Fumbling  
  
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Ok, so I am almost finished making those tablets, and what do you know? I need sugar, of which is upstairs. Bloody wonderful. This ment I had to take a shoot up the third level, then walk a level, then take another shoot. I think I'll order those titanium rods tomorrow. I got up from the comfy chair and walked to the transportation room. An idea clicked into my head. I could just teleport myself into my kitchen! Wonderful thing Irken enhanced earth technology is. Reaching up for the wrist band I felt around the top shelf of the room.   
  
*SNAP*  
  
"FUCK! ISH ISH GOFLOP!" I jerked my hand back and wailed with the sudden pain in my hand. In my effort to get the mouse trap off my fingers, I was apparently doing a dance that strongly resembled the Twist. I hissed in pain as I got it off, my fingers were turning a lovely shade purple, indicating I'd have a tine across my fingers for quite some time to come.  
  
"Jeez, why my?" I figured, fucked it, I'll take the first method to the upstairs. If I hadn't been fooling around I'd have been up stairs and with a bag of sugar by now. I got into the shoot and waited patiently for the air to suck me back up to the third floor. When I arrived, I nearly tripped, yet again, over something that belonged to GIR. I fell forward and onto a table, breaking it in half. Wonderful. I'll have to clean that up later, or. . .  
  
"Computer!" I waited for the computer's reply. Lately I'd talk to my computer and ask how it was doing and such, and it'd talk back to me. Eh, only Nerds and Geeks would think that was cool. Especially when mine could be downloaded into GIR, granted he doesn't misplace his brain chip for a random piece of food, or I could put the computer into a beautiful electronic female love unit. Wait, not love unit. Then Dib would ask to borrow her and. . . Yes, ew. Not that I'd use it if I did, I'd just let her walk about outside for an hour a day. Creepy no?  
  
"Yes, Zim?" It giggled with it's answer. I sighed. Great, did she get into the internet again and look at the pornography? Joy, a horny house that is as mature as a fourth grader.  
  
"Err, right, Please have a cleaning unit clean up this mess, sorry to bother you from your 'pornies'." I scoffed and the computer just bleeped at me in annoyance.  
  
"Yes, Zim." I turned and walked up the flight of stairs, and nearly fell through a gaping hole in the fifthtenth step.  
  
"Eh. . . Computer, could you pleas fix this as well? Oh, and make to rid the house of any rodents excluding my ferret cage upstairs. Because, if they end up stuck in toilet paper tubes again, I'll stick you into GIR's body while GIR's mind is still in there!"  
  
"Ok Ok!" The computer buzzed and blipped then the hole was immediately fixed, and a rat went flying past my head into the garbage disposal on this floor.  
  
"And try not to kill me in the process." Getting to the top, I got inside the shoot there and went the rest of the way to the main floor. Apparently, the computer miscalculated and I ended up being shot about a foot into the air, hitting the entrance way's roof.  
  
"Ah! God, That's it, I'm gonna change about everything sooner or later. . ." My speech wavered as I looked at Dib. His head was resting peacefully on the table, asleep and drooling. I smiled and walked over to him, pulling out a chair and sat down beside him. Resting my head in the palm of my right hand, I reached out and removed a strand of hair, that very annoying yet adorable scythe lock, from his face. It was drooping in Dib's face over those oversized glasses he wore. I always wanted to know why he bothered to wear them. People made fun of him for it, and his eyes were a wonderful shade of amber. "So peaceful."   
  
I thought of how he'd look with out the glasses, then with out the trench coat. Eh, muscular arms, yet not over powering I bet. More or less a scrawny type of muscular. Hm, with out a shirt, that'd be nice and with out pants. . . Maybe he is commando under those and. . . Gah! I am not thinking like this! I refuse too. He's an old enemy, and now my best friend. Bleh I need to get laid or find a bed-friend. That's the logical answer. I stood and when I did, I pushed the chair with a bit to much force, it went flying across the floor, hitting the wall near the fridge. Loosing my footing, I fell backwards, and I instinctively grasped for anything to keep me from falling. And it just so happened to be Dib that I grabbed.  
  
"Shit!" I fell back, Dib's unconscious body falling limply on top of me. I lay there, completely still, afraid I'd killed him. Sitting quietly, I could feel his heart pounding, pumping his blood through his veins, and soft breathing which was more then enough proof he was still in the world of the living. Oh thank Gods. I slowly hulled Dib off me and sat up, carefully placing him on the ground and checked him for a concussion, but considering he has such a thick head, he would be fine. Though, I still was worried.  
  
"Jesus, you scared the fucking shit out of me, worm baby." I shook my fist at him, then laughed. He couldn't hear me, or see my classic old gesture. If had though, we would have had a play fight there. Only involving those giant foam bats. Hehe I love those.  
  
". . . Zim. . ." My eyes snapped open and I looked down at Dib. He's awake?  
  
"Yeah Dib?" I watched his mouth move, then he began to snore quietly.  
  
"Mmmm. . ."  
  
"Oh, incoherent mumbling." I smiled. The way he had just mumbled my name set my cool skin a blaze for a few seconds. Slowly, yet very absent-mindedly, I ran my clawed thumb over his full lips. Over these few years, Dib had grown into a fine young man. A fine one indeed. "Any person to end up with him would be blessed more then the gods above." Dib's mouth twitched, his lips curled around my digit and slowly rubbed them against me. I held my breathe for a second, not moving. My mind was wavering on that like something I saw on that Channel 69...  
  
". . . Zim. . . Mmmmm. . ." Immediately, my hand retreated to my chest, my other hand holding the one that was blessed with that simple touch as if I was burned.  
  
"Dib. . . Ya-you awake?" I reached out and poked him in the ribs. He didn't even stir. Shaking my head, and sighed. "Stupid Zim, you know he's asleep." I mumbled to myself.  
  
As my gaze fell back onto his face, I could see a slight blush on his pale cheeks, yet a constrained look of fear knitted into his eye brows. Slowly, my arm snaked under his the crook of his legs, the other around his shoulders. My first thought was to place him onto the couch to rest and duel out the nightmares he always had, but, then again, that was GIR's dirty old couch of filth and slime.  
  
"Note to self: Get a new couch, or at least clean the old one."   
  
GIR was peaking out from the stair well, looking at us with a very confused glint in his eyes. He wanted to come down and ask what was the matter with Dib, but was too afraid if it was a bad time. Over the years GIR had slightly, oh so slightly, gotten a bit more intelligent, and knew when not to come bounding into a room. GIR slowly made up his tiny mind and whispered so softly, I barely caught it.  
  
"Is Dib gonna be ok master? You wook worried." I turned and flashed a simple smile at him, nodding.  
  
"GIR, could you clear the crap from the stairs so I can put him to bed in the guest room?" GIR didn't move, then sheepishly replied like a little child.  
  
"The bedroom is filled with all your extra supplies master." I huffed and muttered quietly, but GIR still heard me.  
  
"Fine, he'll sleep in my room." That drew a more irritable squeal from GIR. Almost as a disturbing as when he commented on my sexual organs earlier. I was glad I had left my bedroom door open, other wise trying to unlock it and get in would prove to be a bit of a hassle. I kicked some clothes into the corner and set Dib down. He immediately curled up into a ball and smuggled my oh so soft mattress made completely of fish tank fluff.   
  
"Hey now, I gotta get you out of those, you can't sleep away the rest of the day in your day time clothes. it's only 1:45, yes, but still. The coat come off at least." I chuckled. God did I sound like a motherly parent or a wife.  
  
". . . Zim. . . Please. . ." My face switched to a look of worry, and curiosity.  
  
"Please? What do you mean by please, Dib?" I poked him, taking his glasses off and placing them on the table beside my bed.  
  
". . .No....Don't die Zim, I. . ." Now I am uber confused. What the fuck?  
  
"Dib, your having nightmares, you'll awake soon. I reached out and pulled his coat down his shoulders, then he curled into a tight ball and started to weep. "Dib, shhhh shh..." I rubbed his back and cooed softly, feeling some muscle beneath the fabric. I managed to pull his coat down to his wrists, but his hands were hanging on to the sleeves for dear life, I had to tickle his side in order to make him let go.   
  
"Eheha. . . Mhm. . ." Jesus he's a heavy sleeper. Funny thing, if this was a few years back he'd have tried to jump me and kill me for making the slightest sound. now here I was, trying to make him more comfortable and he was giggling in his sleep like GIR. Funny, this used to be my greatest adversary, my only one when I didn't piss Gaz off. But still, now he was a quivering mass of slumber ridden flesh. something bothered me. Dib was stirring again and I decided to do a few tests before he awoke.  
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Mega Note: I didn't get a chance to beta test this, since I'm just lazy. I'll do so when i feel like it. But here it is so you people don't shoot me. Sorry I took so long to update.  
  
Ok Ok, I know Zim falls way to much in this chapter or the story. But He's Zim remember? Just be glad he's not laughing like a retard and falling on his face, getting up, run, fall, up, run, fall, then laugh. He's not Patrick from Sponge Bob! ~_~ I hate sponge bob square pants fics, they scare me.  
  
Fish tank fluff, I think, if the best filler for a pillow! so soft...  
  
Special request: I'd like ideas, I may not use all of them, but just give em freely. ^_^ writer's block for 7 days. I'm so doomed.   
  
Well, Here's a challenge as well.  
  
Task: Professor Membrane and Zim romance. I have yet to see one of those. If you will do one, email me @ zelvv@hotmail.com I'll place the fic onto my site when I get it working. Which should be in a few days. The fic can be rated anything. Even NC-17, but that'll be the reason it'll go there.   
  
BTW: If anyone has an NC-17 rated story about the following;  
  
Invader Zim, Harry Potter, Lord Of The Rings, Or any anime, please let me know. Oh hell, anything, I'll post it on my site, free of charge! And I promise not to modify it in anyway. Again, email me if you are interested.   
  
Well I am done ^_^ but not with my ficcage! 


	7. Wake up Sleeping beauty

I have a note to Julie- Who is Naz? Oo;  
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The Expression of the Stars   
  
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Today's episode brought to by:   
  
Dayquil  
  
The Daytime, Non-Drowsy, Congested-Stuffy Head, Sore Throat, Coughing, Aching, Fever So You Can Get Through The Day Medicine.   
  
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Dedication: Sakata, Cel, TPQ(ArmAndLeg), HopelessParanoidRomantic, and Lina Metallium  
  
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Chapter 7:  
  
Wake up Sleeping Beauty  
  
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Just wonderful. Everyone I looked at glared at me, or, was unbearably nice to me, like a grandmother. Either way, it's creepy. Every person I look at notices me. Then, they all disappear suddenly.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
"Got quite the mouth on you don't cha?" I blink. That sounded like my mother, but when I turned around it was. . . My father in a dress with long purple hair. OK. . . This is really scaring me.  
  
"Err. . . Dad?"  
  
"Yes?" I heard my father's voice this time, but it was the same person talking.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Yes Sugar Lump? I know you think I'm mad at you, but I'm not. Your eighteen." Again it was my mother's voice, same person talking. Then I realized Dad had breasts. Oh wonderful. Then, a mental image crossed my mind and I couldn't help but to shudder.  
  
"Ew!"  
  
"Hm. . . What is it son?" I blinked and straightened.   
  
"Err, nothing dad. Nothing at all." I closed my eyes in annoyance and in a slight disturbed manor.  
  
"Find your love yet?"  
  
"NO! Why don't you just tell me who I am supposed to love! You people live in my head, so tell me already!" I opened my eyes and Zim was staring at me with a disturbed look on his face.  
  
"Jesus fucking Irk, Dib. I wouldn't know who you loved. So stop yelling at me!" I blinked and looked around. We were suddenly in his back yard and apparently Zim was playing with a new laser or plasma ray gun. He turned to me and smirked. "DIE! Evil Earthen scum of Doom!" Then he shot me, and I felt the impact of the bullet weight heavy on my chest, and I fell backwards. I didn't die, I just couldn't breathe. I looked down at my shirt, right where my heart was and saw...Purple blood seep out of my wound... What the...I sniffed the air, smelling jiffy everywhere. Ah, that explains it. It's paint. The non toxic kind, and apparently oil based. He was playing with a paint ball gun. But wait, this was my favorite shirt.   
  
"Zim! You fuck nut! I'll get you for that alien scum!" I tackled him, but not before he got a few rounds of paint on my shirt and coat, face and hair. Oh what lovely stains those would make. And what lovely shoes Zim would make. Good idea. "I'll make a belt, a jacket and a pair of boots out of you!" I grabbed the stupid paint ball gun and hopped off, running in no particular direction. I just thought of my old Elementary Skool, and bam, I was there, Zim hanging up side down on the monkey bars, facing away from me.  
  
*BANG BANG*  
  
*SPLAT SPLAT*  
  
"Ahhh! Dib! I Shall ruin you!" He was cursing a bunch, switching back and forth between several language. Three of which I guessed were Irken, Japanese, and French, and the one I knew was English. All weren't exactly what I would call pleasant to hear.  
  
He tackled me and then we rolled down a hill, how the hill got there was probably part of my twisted dream. I landed on top and he wailed.  
  
"I'll get you, you, you, Earth garbage!" He rolled over so he was on top of me, I was being straddled, and I mean, straddled. My hands went slack and I stared up at him. He appeared to be completely oblivious to the fact.  
  
"What, human?" A snicker, then a raised non-existent brow. "Well?" I just laid there, speechless. He was either playing dumb, or he was very stupid. or, he could just be about to pummel his fist into my face.   
  
Oh how I want to punch that smile off his face and give him a real good beating for tormenting me, even in my dreams. Wait, this is a dream. Maybe I could finally kill him. So what if in real life we're friends. I've always felt this need to kill him from old times. Just to get it out of my system.  
  
"Hm," I though for a second on a way to piss him off and get in my face to scream at me. All I could come up with was playing dumb. yeah, playing dumb in your own mind to trick it into doing your bidding. What logic. Eh, I've always been a little insane.  
  
"Nothing, oh lime green one. I have absolutely nothing to say to you." And, as I predicted, he did lean in and growl at me, but it went a step further. He grabbed a hold of the flaps of my trench coat in both fists.  
  
"What, was that, stink-beast?" Hm, his breath smells like fruit. And he himself smells like a musky oak tree. Nice and yet soothing. I'll never be able to walk through Forge Forest again with out thinking of Zim. Great, now I'll be paranoid as hell when ever I go to Forge Forest.  
  
"You smell nice, Dream Zim." I said it with even thinking. Even here in my head I apparently sucked at keeping quiet. His hold almost lightened, but then a large grin played on his face. Zim's smile was gentle, almost on the unnerving side.  
  
"As do you, Dreamer Dib." He smiled and we stayed like that for a while longer.  
  
"Hey, Dream Zim?" His head cocked to the side as I raised my fist.  
  
"Yes?" He blinked a few times and poked my nose. That just irritated the hell out of me. I hate it when people do that. I decided to ask him a question instead.  
  
"What the hell is up with people here and telling me I cannot leave until I find out who I am supposed to love?"  
  
"Well, that would be a very mysterious mystery. Heh, what a stupid pun, huh?" I couldn't help but laugh. My mind was doing a good job at keeping this Zim acting like the one in real life, save for the odd touching.   
  
"I miss the old days where we would beat the crap out of each other. It was fun." An amused chuckle came from his mouth.  
  
"Ah, as do I human. But to answer your question of who to love. I cannot actually tell you, but. . ." I blinked, his face got closer to mine, and my breath hitched.  
  
"I can show you who you are to love." With that I felt my world go fuzzy, but I still could hear him, and feel his arms slowly move around my waist and neck, propping me up. Then something cool, yet warm was on my lips. After that, everything went completely black. No sounds. No smells. No feeling. No nothing. Just pitch black.  
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Ok, sorry this chapter is so short, and lame, but with good reason! I had this dream so merr! Plus, special added bonus! You get two chapters that make up one technically. So enjoy! Btw, I have fifteen stories being updated at once, (only three are allowed to be on FF.net) so excuse me If I am slow. . . *mumbles* And the fact I just got 8 new Xbox games distracted me from my work...   
  
Questions? Comments? Btw, I need to draw give me ideas! I'll draw scenes from your stories, just email me! @_@  
  
ENJOY! 


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